How I've Lived My Truth- For Alto Saxophone & Percussion
Despite being a gay black man, when Garrett, the commissioner of this piece, approached me with
this idea, I was slightly hesitant. The subjects of my pieces are rarely about my identity and more so
about my interests or random late-night thoughts. I decided to take this challenge and write this
piece about the queer experience. Despite growing up in the deep South, people were generally
accepting of my sexuality; I still had to figure things out on my own, but I think I can say that I did not
experience any major trauma. Therefore, I thought it would be disingenuous to try to paint the
picture of the perils of being queer as, after all, we all have vastly different stories. Some of us were
more privileged, other’s deal with or are currently dealing with some form of abuse/neglect, and
some of us are still not quite ready to share that side of themselves with others yet. Despite this, our
community should not be defined solely by our traumas.
How I’ve Lived My Truth… is a single movement work with various elements of the queer experience
told by the perspective of someone looking back on their life. Each mood of the piece is
characterized by different aspects of self-discovery that I know a lot of people in the community
have shared that they have went through. Reflection, Inspiration, Anxiety, Curiosity, Adventurousness,
and Confidence; these seem to be necessary, although sometimes troublesome, elements of our
shared experience that highlight both the celebratory and painful moments of belonging to this
community. While each theme is unique in its own way, whether through key, tempo, or accompanying
percussion, a “heartbeat: like motif does present itself at the beginning and climax of the piece to
signify that dreadful feeling of expressing yourself in a way in which you are not sure how others
will react.
I am grateful for this commission being the 1st step in being able to write about a part of my identity.
Despite being a gay black man, when Garrett, the commissioner of this piece, approached me with
this idea, I was slightly hesitant. The subjects of my pieces are rarely about my identity and more so
about my interests or random late-night thoughts. I decided to take this challenge and write this
piece about the queer experience. Despite growing up in the deep South, people were generally
accepting of my sexuality; I still had to figure things out on my own, but I think I can say that I did not
experience any major trauma. Therefore, I thought it would be disingenuous to try to paint the
picture of the perils of being queer as, after all, we all have vastly different stories. Some of us were
more privileged, other’s deal with or are currently dealing with some form of abuse/neglect, and
some of us are still not quite ready to share that side of themselves with others yet. Despite this, our
community should not be defined solely by our traumas.
How I’ve Lived My Truth… is a single movement work with various elements of the queer experience
told by the perspective of someone looking back on their life. Each mood of the piece is
characterized by different aspects of self-discovery that I know a lot of people in the community
have shared that they have went through. Reflection, Inspiration, Anxiety, Curiosity, Adventurousness,
and Confidence; these seem to be necessary, although sometimes troublesome, elements of our
shared experience that highlight both the celebratory and painful moments of belonging to this
community. While each theme is unique in its own way, whether through key, tempo, or accompanying
percussion, a “heartbeat: like motif does present itself at the beginning and climax of the piece to
signify that dreadful feeling of expressing yourself in a way in which you are not sure how others
will react.
I am grateful for this commission being the 1st step in being able to write about a part of my identity.